Fighting for Love
by LittleElfQueen
Summary: When Amelia has a very bad encounter in a dark alleyway, she realizes she needs to do everything in her power to protect everyone she loves. She will join the DA and help fight for the good, the light, and love. Having fallen for her twin brother's friend, Neville, since they met in first year. She has always loved from afar, but maybe, with the darkness coming, love is coming too.
1. Chapter 1

Walking gingerly through the empty alleyway, it was getting dark quickly now. I had agreed with my mum I'd be home by dark. Ginny and Luna had already left me. Even though I'm a year older than the two girls, I still love them to death. I had shopping left to do and I hurried myself along trying to not draw too much attention to myself. As I spot the last shop I need, I hear an eerily cool voice.

I try my best to ignore it. I'm not going to let someone stop me. The voice tisked, "Ah now, Amelia MacMillan, why don't we have a chat." I flipped my body around trying to spot whoever knew me.

Seeing a glimpse of blonde hair, I swallow hard, "Oh, hello, Mr. Malfoy. I take it Draco is doing well?" I hold my chin up high as to not let him get to me. He snarls at the mention of his son. Stepping closer to me now, I can smell the fire whiskey on his breath. "Disgusting." I growl.

A small smirk appears on his face, "Like you, a Macmillan, a blood traitor, could do any better?" I shivered as he continued to step closer. "You appall me, you filth." Closer and closer he comes but I continue to back away. He whips out his wand and before I know it, I'm pinned against the wall, the end of his wand pressed hard against my neck. "You'd be lucky to have a pureblood like me show you affection and the true way purebloods act."

I spit in his face. "I would never in a million years want to be with someone who is too conceded about his pureblood line to know what is good for his family and the world around him. A war is coming, Malfoy. You know it. But are you sure you are on the right side?" He sends a slash across my face.

I grit my teeth but smirk back none the less. "Have fun in Azkaban." At this remark I hear a shout of one unforgivable curse. Pain shoots through my entire body. I feel like I'm on fire, like I'm being stabbed a thousand times over. I scream in pain but it's muffled by the blonde man's mouth on top of mine. I'm wildly flailing my arms trying to hit him, then trying to grab for my wand.

He reaches it before I can manage to get it back. Tossing it aside, he binds me with a spell. I start to cry; tears sliding down my face, for the pain has still not gone away. "Please." I hoarse out, "Please. Stop."

His dark smile, broadens. "Ah, dear girl, that can be arranged." The burn sensation stops but now his body is pressed against mine. I try with all my might to fight back, but my body is too weak from the pain against his strong, much larger body. Clothing starts to come off and I stop fighting. Silently crying, I close my eyes hoping it all goes by quickly.

After what felt like forever, he is done. Releasing my binds, I fall to the ground. "Give Draco a good time at Hogwarts. Considering I've just had myself a wonderful night." My shoulders fall. I feel so disgusting. Blood, dirt, and his… liquid cover my body. I move slowly, trying to pull my clothes back to me and get dressed. Shaking, I finish getting ready.

"Goodbye, slut." And with a snap, he disappears. Pushing myself off the ground, using the wall for support, I stand and gingerly, grab my bags. The only place open still was the Leaky Cauldron so I had a ways to walk considering I was in a back alley. The journey felt like it was taking forever with the pain that shot all over my body with every step I took.

Reaching the pub, I quickly grabbed floo powder, ignoring the strange looks I was getting from men at the bar. I knew I looked horrific but no one made a move to help me. Stumbling into the green flame, I emerge into our living room. Sitting in a circle on the floor is my twin brother, Ernest, along with a few of his friends, Seamus, Justin, Dean, and Neville. My eyes widen at the sight of them. They turn their gazes to me. All of their expressions fall from laughing to dreadfully serious.

"Blimey. What happened?" Seamus asks me, jumping up. The others all nod in agreement. My head falls as I drop my bags on the ground.

I try to muster a small smile, which is nearly impossible. I croak out, "Just shopping. It was a long day. I did accidently cut myself though." Pointing up to my cheek and shrugging my shoulders.

Justin tries to pipe up, "Are you sure?" as he puts down a jelly bean box he was in the process of eating.

Ernie flipped his head to him, "If Amy says it's nothing, it has to be nothing. I trust her. Right, sis?" I nod and slip out the doorway and down the hall before heading into the kitchen, collapsing into the chair and letting a long breath out.

I hear some shuffling in the hall, and then Neville peeks around the edge of the archway, as if asking for permission to come in. I ever so slightly nod. I just don't care anymore. I feel so empty. He kneels in front of me and stares at me directly in the eyes. I just sit there unable to move at this point. "Amy. I know that look." His eyes grow incredibly sad and he shakes a little. "Who did this to you? Who hurt you? Did they do anything else?" I open my mouth but words don't form. Tears begin to well in my eyes. He gently pulls me to him.

"Come on. I'll help clean up your cuts and, maybe, then you can tell me." I let him pick me up knowing my body won't let me move any farther. When he reaches my room, he lays me down on my bed and runs to our medicine cabinet in the bathroom off the hallway. Coming back in with a potion to put on my wounds, he starts working on my cheek.

Honestly the only thing I could want right now is him. Neville is the only friend Ernie has that treats me like one too. We aren't close or anything but in all honesty, I think I really like him. He is my brother's friend, however, which means he's off limits. Staring up at his eyes though, makes me rush with feelings again. I don't feel dead anymore, I feel safe. Applying the potion to my cheek, almost feels as if he is caressing it gently. Oh how I wish.

After he is done, he goes and grabs me clothes, laying them on my bed. He blushes when he sees my knickers and bra, "Go take a shower. I'll wait here; yell if you need me, okay?" I nod and try to smile a little. I take a quick but thorough shower. I wanted to have as much time with Neville as possible. He normally choses Ernest over me because it's the right thing to do.

I don't even dry my hair. I just get dressed and hurry back out to find Neville lying out on my bed, asleep. I silently move and sit on the edge of the bed. He murmurs something about killing someone then a much clearer sentence is spoken, "I'd do anything for you, Amy." My mouth automatically forms a huge grin. I would love to just curl up beside him and sleep, but I know my brother will want him back. I shake the boy on my bed. His eyes fling open and he throws his head around to find the threat. After realizing there is no immediate danger, his head flops back. "You scared me, love." Immediately after regretting what he had said, "I-I meant Amy. Sorry."

"Sorry. It's just… you're on my bed and you need to get back to my brother." My voice is still hoarse and from the look on his face, my voice reminded him of the situation.

His eyes grow intense. I honestly don't think I've seen him look so menacing before. "Who the fuck did this to you? I will learn ever spell known to man to make sure they pay. What all did they do besides Crucio?" He shivers again.

My face pales remembering the few minutes I had been under the curse. "How… how did you know?" His face is so grave, "You don't have to tell me. I was only wondering." He nods, "But I don't think I can say who did it and what they did. I just… I can't." He pulls me to him and I don't think I can cry anymore. So I just rest my head on his shoulder and sighed.

He smells wonderful, like an autumn day. You can smell the soil and fresh air but it's so nice. I squeeze my eyes shut. Stop thinking about him like that. He's off limits. Not to mention, Ernie once said he thought Neville had a thing for Hannah. "Well, if you ever need anyone, I'm here. I know I'm probably not your first pick, but just so you know." I nod into him.

I hear a throat clear and we fall apart from each other; Neville thumping onto the floor. Flipping my head toward the door, I see the tall figure of my brother standing there with an eyebrow raised. My cheeks flush and I tried to find an excuse," H-he was cleaning my cut on my cheek and just gave me a hug to feel better." I shrug the best that I could. He nods as if not believing it but motions for Neville to follow him back downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks had passed since that awful night. Memories still flooded me every time I dreamed. But with each horrible nightmare, it began to harden me. The night I cried with Neville, was my last. I was no longer going to be small. I was no longer going to let things bother me. No feelings. Just fighting. Harry wouldn't lie. Voldemort (might as well say his name if that's who he is) is coming back and there is nothing I can do but fight. This year, I will try as hard as I can to learn more DADA and get good marks on my O.W.L.S. hopefully.

I stare at my ceiling dreading today. We were going to Diagon Alley to get some school supplies. I don't want to interact with people today. A small knock comes on the door and I know it's time to get up. Sliding on some jeans and a sweater rather quickly, I dab on some quick makeup before heading out my door.

Ernie is already ready in a similar, more masculine version of my outfit. "We are going to floo to Seamus' house first and meet everyone there, yeah?" I just nod, grabbing my purse off the loveseat before following him into a green flame.

When I step through the fireplace, I put on a stony expression so everyone knows to not bother me. Neville and Hannah are already there and to my knowledge, we were just waiting on Dean. Glancing at the blonde girl and brunette boy, I feel a pang of hurt before I push it away. Hannah was very awkwardly flirting with the shy Gryffindor.

Pushing the feeling away, I turn and clear my throat as Dean steps in the room by floo as well. At least we can get out of here now so I don't have to stare at those two any longer. "If you guys want to stand and talk, you can. However, I am heading on over now." Neville starts to protest about how I shouldn't be going alone but I just flip him off before shouting my destination and disappearing from the family room.

Fuck him. He acted so sweet to me that night but hadn't talked to me since. Then the next time I see him, he's flirting with another girl. I never thought Neville to be one to play games on other girls. Guess I was wrong. He was the last hope I had. I could die in the impending war now and it wouldn't even matter. I'd at least die for a good cause.

I hustle to get my shopping done. I just wanted out of here. The memories were pressing hard in my mind as I try my best to just push them out. I go to the apothecary and grab my new cauldron along with a few ingredients before going to Florish and Blotts, picking up book after book needed for the year. Piling them high in my arms, I struggle to get to the counter. Two hands manifest from the other side of my books grabbing a few from the top.

When the books are removed, I see a very hurt Neville, "Why did you give me the finger, Amy?" His eyebrows furred together.

I shrug my shoulders then try to put on a nonchalant appearance, "I dunno. I just wanted to shop alone." The anger starts to rise in me again, before I snap at him, "Which you happened to ruin. Thanks. I was doing just fine on my own."

His mouth drops open and his eyes darken a bit from the comment, "Fine. See you in the common room then." He practically throws my books onto the counter and slams the door behind him. The lady behind the counter went to shush him before she realized he was gone.

I finish up my shopping and thought how I don't want to go home. I'll just go see Ginny at the Burrow. I miss her dearly. Finding a place to floo, I go to the Burrow. There is bustling all over the home. I hear Ginny shouting to her mum asking where she had last seen her shoes.

"Gin?" I call out. Thudding can be heard as she comes sprinting down the stairs and engulfs me in a huge hug.

She is grinning very wide and I can tell something is up. "We are going to a party tonight. Last night to party before school." I'm shaking my head furiously. I'd really rather not. "Oh come on now. It will be alright. I won't leave your side all night. And everyone is going. All of my brothers and Harry and 'Mione. Not to mention Dean. Pleaaaaase." She comes close and whispers, "I really want to see Dean, Amy."

I groan but finally agree. "Good. Now. We have to get you changed." I let out another protest but to no avail as she pulls me by the wrist up the crooked staircase. I know she doesn't have a whole lot of options for clothing, but still more than I do. I'm not one for fashion really.

She throws me a rather tight looking dress. The red was very bright and had a slice out right down where the chest was so cleavage was easily seen. She also tosses me so gold stiletto heels. My eyes get wide at the sight of them, "How in bloody hell am I supposed to walk in these, Gin?" She just shakes her head at me and shoos me to the bathroom everyone shares.

Once I'm dressed, I stare at my figure in the mirror. Holy Merlin, I can see the outline of my pants under the dress. I straighten my dark brown hair as quickly as I can and put on gold eye makeup. Though my eyes are just a deep brown, it makes them look like they have sparkles of gold in my eyes.

I am so not ready for this. Ginny comes in dressed in a black dress with a very short skirt and winks at me. "Sexy. Buuuut, you need red lipstick." She dabs it on my lips before grinning, "Much better. Ready?" I sigh in response but she's quite pleased. So we head out. The rest of our party already had left.

When we showed up the entire house was booming. The music was so incredibly loud I could barely hear myself think. Girls and boys everywhere some just talking while others are furiously snogging. Red cups scattered tables and in hands. But then, I spot him across the room, Neville. Of course, I can pick him out of an extremely crowded house party. He's looking at Hannah, you can tell very awkward about the house party. It never really seemed like his thing either. But he had a cup in hand nonetheless.

I'm sure he could feel someone staring because he glanced at me and I averted my eyes. My cheeks have gotten really hot as I realized many guys are staring at my figure. Oh Ginny. What have you gotten me into? Speaking of which, where had she gone? I sigh and head to grab a drink. Might as well forget what is going on.

I quickly chug two cups of some sort of muggle alcoholic drink and decide its best I go outside for some air because I can already feel it getting to warm inside for my liking. I sigh as I open the screen door and slip onto the dimly lit porch. One single light near the door made it difficult to see, but from what I could tell is that there are multiple couples sitting on the porch snogging. My mind flashes to Neville. Damn it. Stop. He's your brother's friend. You should be happy he has someone else so you aren't tempted.

It is actually quite chilly out here in the night air. But I climb down the steps and go sit on a bench swing under a tree. I hear some voices coming in my direction. I'm certain one is Hannah, "Neville, where are you going?" I jump off the bench to hide behind the tree.

Footsteps continue forward and I hear the bench squeak as someone sits down with a sigh. It squeaks again as I can assume that Hannah has followed Neville and sat with him. "Nev," her voice soft, "I-I like you a lot," there is a pause, "And, I know you probably wouldn't want to, but would you like to date me?" She said the ending rather fast.

I sucked in a breath rather quickly. No. He can't. He wouldn't say yes, would he? I wait, along with Hannah, for a response, "You know what? Why not? Sure." Hannah lets out a small squeal as I hear the sounds of a kiss.

I feel my eyes start to sting. I need to get out of here before I make too much noise. But there is no way I can leave without them seeing me.

I make up my mind to pretend to have thrown up. I lean over near the tree, using it for support and make the loudest vomiting noise I can muster while still crying slightly. I then "stumble" past the two completely ignoring them when they state remarks of confusion at me and going on into the house.

Taking off down the hall, I slam the bathroom door behind me. No one will bother me here. I'll just sit in the bath. There is a cup left on the sink. I pick it up and chug it. Open the cabinet up, I grab about five pain pills and take those too. Maybe now the pain will go away in my heart. I then climb into the bathtub and pull the curtain. I close my eyes and let the pills work their magic on me. I wake up about an hour later to hearing a hissing noise. What the hell?

I pull the curtain back to see the back side of Seamus. He's pissing in the toilet. I scream and cover my eyes. My head whooshes from the pills and alcohol in my system. He glances over his shoulder at me, "Hey, Amy." He smirks at me and zips up his pants. He sits down on the floor in front of me. He sighs and sees my distressed look, "I know you like Nev. Don't even deny it." I try to protest but he slides a finger on my lips, "But I have an idea. Granted, this might be the alcohol talkin', but I think it's a pretty darn good plan."

I tilt my head slightly as it swims, "What's the plan?"

He chuckles at me, "We could make him jealous. If he sees you and I goin' upstairs with you wrapped around my waist, he would definitely get jealous."

Under normal circumstances, I might understand this is a bad idea. However, after three strong drinks and some pills, this sounds brilliant. I nod enthusiastically, hoping out of the tub. Stumbling backwards, wagging my finger for him to follow me, I slip out the door, Seamus in tow. I grab him by the collar and crash my lips to his.

His hands land on my hips but travel to my backside and slightly squeeze. Stumbling our way backward, I have an idea. Pulling him to the only empty couch, I rip his shirt open and push him to lie down as I sit on his lap. Everyone around us has their eyes wide open in shock. I glance to see one set of eyes I had hoped would be on me.

Smashing my lips to his again and pretend I'm going to unzip his pants, someone (I think Fred) shouts for us to get a room. Seamus jumps up, swiping me up with him easily. I wrap my legs around his waist and my dress hikes dangerously high.

Scrambling up the stairs, we slide into an empty bedroom, shutting and locking the door. Seamus looks at me from where he sat down on the bed, "You know, if you weren't so in love, and if I weren't such a gentleman," he touches his heart and grins, "I would fuck you senseless."

I laugh lightly. "You should leave a few marks on my neck," wiggling my eyebrows. He happily obliges. After a while, I make my hair a mess and make my dress a little crooked before nodding my head toward the door.

Heading back downstairs, some people are starting to pass out, but I get a wolf call from George and Ginny slaps his arm before rushing to me, "Oh my Merlin! Did you?!" I nod and bite my lip, not from embarrassment but because I was lying. Glancing around I see Hannah asleep on Neville, but he's glaring over at me. I turn away and rub my neck.

Plenty of boys are still staring at me. My head is still spinning from the effects of drugs. I have a new idea, "Who else wants a go?!" Raising my hands in the air, feeling defeated. I'm stumbling over my words and lean into Ginny before she protests that I'm kidding and pushing guys away from me. I feel heavier and heavier as time goes on. Next thing I know, everything is black.


	3. Chapter 3

When I awaken, my head is spinning. I can't think. I'm in a hospital bed. I can hear the beating of my heart on a monitor and nurses outside talking. I lift my head slightly but it hurts too much. I caught a glimpse of Ernest and Ginny sitting on the far wall, whispering. My voice is so hoarse when I try to speak, "Where's Mum and Dad?"

Ernie's head flies up and he rushes to my side, "They can't make it back into the country until tomorrow. They'll be back as soon as they can though. I'm so happy you are okay." He closes his eyes and squeezes my hands.

Ginny comes up on my other side and sighs loudly, "I was so worried. You can't just do that to yourself, Amelia!" She is furious with me for what all I had taken last night, "They know you took pills with your alcohol. That can kill you, you loon! They had to flush your system out!" She is fuming and stomps out of the room. I hear Dean's voice out there trying to calm her down.

If Dean is here, does that mean any of the other guys are here too? I want Neville by my side more than anything. But when Gin comes back in, only Dean and Seamus follows her. Seamus looks very hung-over but he weakly smiles none the less, "Was I that good, eh? Made you pass out?" He winks at me with our secret. Ginny slams her elbow into his ribcage.

I try to not laugh because it hurts, but I want to so terribly. "When do I get to go home?" I chirp up as best as I can.

My twin sighs and looks at his hands, "A few days after school starts. The teachers already know of the situation and Dumbledore himself will come to escort you via floo, to the castle. Appariting would be too hard on your body right now. I'll help you keep up on your classes."

I shake my head sadly but then nod. The next few days went by slowly. The nurses are letting me walk the halls now at least. Not far though. One day, however, I manage to get past a set of double doors. I don't know what's behind here until I see the sign. It's the mental ward of St. Mungos. I'm in a gown so I don't think the nurses will question me much. I glance around but most doors are closed; except for one at the end of the hall.

I hear a very familiar voice and my blood runs cold, making me freeze in my spot. Slowly I move to peek around the door frame. Neville… Neville is sitting in a guest chair with an old woman in crazy attire and hand bag. I'm assuming this is his gran. But what blows me away, is in two hospital beds next to each other, are a man and a woman. Neville resembling him in all ways apart his eyes; which look like the woman's. These are his parents… His parents are in the mental ward. How long have they been here?

His voice is soft spoken and he speaks about his life, "I have a girlfriend now. She's alright. She keeps me company and I think I could really use it right now. For some reason, me and Amy are in a quarrel. I've mentioned her before." He's mentioned me before? About what? "I think it all started after she had the Cruciatus curse put on her. It killed me seeing her like that. I don't know what I'd do if she ended up here too."

I draw in a sharp breath. His parents had been driven to insanity by the Curciatus curse. I slide away in case he heard. Hurrying back to my room and sliding into bed. My head is spinning from this new information.

I wish I could hug him. I wish I could kiss away his pain. Tears prickle my eyes. I wish I could be with him, not Hannah. He has talked about me to his parents before. He seemed to really care when I was in danger. Why did I have to fuck up?

I needed to find a way to make up for it. I needed to apologize and at least be friends with him again.

Now really wasn't the time to do it though. He doesn't need to know what I had seen today. I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut. I really wish I didn't feel so strongly for him. I just hate feeling so defeated. A few silent tears slide down my cheeks as I let out a sigh.

Wasn't I going to be harder? Wasn't I going to fight? I will fight. But I am not hard. That just isn't me. I'll never be able to look at Neville and feel nothing. I fall asleep then and try my best to make time go by until I could finally head to school.

When I get to the castle that feels like home, Dumbledore and I walk down to the Great Hall for breakfast from his office. Making small talk, it isn't very awkward and he says he is grateful I'm alright. Stepping into the very large room, the normally very loud chattering stops and all eyes are on me. Whispers soon can be heard from various students. I only heard a few words such as "slut" and "suicide".

I stare at my feet and scurry to my house table. Sliding in between Seamus and Ginny, I get two reassuring pats. Most Gryffindors in our little circle of friends know I didn't try to commit suicide. They know I just lost track of myself. Hermione gave me a sympathetic look and said, "Never listen to them. You know that. Rumors are horrible things."

I nod and stay silent as I grab food from platters scattered around the table. Eating my breakfast quickly, not wanting to stay in the hall very long, I take a couple bites before deciding I would just head to class. Shit. I don't have my timetable. McGonagall does and she is at the teachers' table. Fuck my life.

I stand, trying to keep my head held high and walk up to her, sitting next to a very toad like woman in pink. This must be who Dumbledore had warned me about on our way here. McGonagall manifests my sheet and hands it to me with a sad smile. I nod and head for the door; never once looking up from the sheet in front of me.


	4. Chapter 4

I still have a good half an hour until I have to be to DADA so I scurry up the moving staircase. I'm not sure how far up I had even gone because my head was spinning from rumors. So many people have called me a slut now; ever since that night, dozens of people. Of course Neville wouldn't date me. Who would date a suicidal whore?

Sprinting down a corridor, I can barely breathe. I slide against a wall toward the floor. Head resting in my hands, I try to steady my breathing. Hearing a noise, my head shoots up. Where there used to be empty space on the wall in front of me, is now a huge set of doors. Wow. Scrambling to my feet, I rush over, pushing them cautiously open. Inside, there is a fireplace and a huge comfy looking couch. A mug filled with hot chocolate is in place on the coffee table, along with the book I had started reading before coming to school. This room has even gone as far to supply a liquor stash in the corner of the room.

This is now my new favourite place to be. I plop my body down on the couch, sipping from the mug. Do I ever have to leave this place again? I doze off staring at the gorgeous fireplace. I'm snapped from my daydreaming by the bell ringing signifying that class has started. Fuck.

Flying out of my cocoon of blankets, I grab my books and sprint at top speed down the corridors. If I hurry fast enough, I can slip in without Umbridge realizing it. Slowing when I reach the hall his classroom is in; I try to regain my breath. Opening the door silently, I slip in. Turning to face the class, all eyes are on me, including Neville and the toad of a woman.

I open my mouth to excuse myself, but Umbridge speaks before I have the chance to, "I know you have had, how do I put this, problems with your mental state and sexual pleassures this past summer," giggles irrupt from a good portion of the class, "However, you will show up in time for my class, Ms. MacMillan."

My face turns bright red from anger and embarrassment. Yet again, I open my mouth to speak, but this time I'm interrupted by Harry, "In all due respect, Professor, I don't believe you are able to speak of students' personal problems in such a manner, with a full classroom of students."

Her head snaps to the spectacled boy, sitting at his seat, "Silence, Mr. Potter. Detention tonight for both of you, right after classes end."

Sitting down next to a Slytherin, it being the only seat open; he snarls at me and whispers, "Is Potter your new fuck buddy now?"

I ignore the comment and stare at my book. This will be an awfully long year. Umbridge went on and on about something or another. I didn't even care considering we wouldn't be doing any spells.

Herbology is my next class and I hurry to it. Professor Sprout pulled me to the side, because I was very early this time, "If you ever need anything, dear. Just let me know. If you don't mind me asking, are the rumors true?"

I shake my head, "I never did IT with anyone; only pretended for jealousy. And with the whole suicide thing, I don't want to kill myself. I've had a hard time, but it was an accident on taking too much." She pulls me into a hug and pats my back.

I sit down at my seat and doodle on a piece of paper waiting for class to start. The room was filling quickly but no one wanted to sit next to me. So I had no partner. I wonder if Neville has Herbology another period, because he loves this subject so much, he has to have it. But right as I think this, Neville hurries in.

His head turns from side to side, trying to find a seat, to no avail; the only one, happening to be next to me. His head falls and he stares at the floor, but takes the seat next to me. I glance over, but he won't look up at me. His eyes are puffy, as if he's been crying. Oh, Neville.

I reach out to touch his shoulder, but he obviously realized this and tenses up. I pull my hand back quickly and try my best to focus on what Professor Sprout is saying about self-fertilizing shrubs. I can't think straight with Neville next to me. I can almost feel his aura next to me. I want nothing more than to curl up with him in that room I found.

Soon class ends and I realized I hadn't taken any notes or remembered a single word she had said. I see Neville standing to leave after the bell went off, this time I reach out and gently grab his arm before I realize what I'm doing.

He freezes on the spot turning just slightly, where I can see his face contort into a weird expression. He sighs, pulls himself free, and shakes his head no before heading for the door. My heart breaks. I think that was the last straw was seeing him deliberately blowing me off. Not even caring that I left my books on the table, I jump and shove past him through the door, running back to that room I had found.

I think a little alcohol is what I need. Fuck everyone. Fuck Neville. Fuck Umbridge. Fuck all the people telling rumors about me. Sliding in, I grab a bottle and start chugging it right away. I just want this feeling to be gone. I want to curl up here and never leave. About ten minutes or so have passed and I'm feeling the alcohol in my blood now. Lying on the floor next to the fire, I stare at it; the colors dancing wildly.

The door banged open behind. I don't turn to look. I don't fucking care. "Amy…" I hear that voice. The only voice I ever want to hear anymore, but it's filled with panic. I roll over to stare at those green, hazel eyes. "I couldn't find you. I was so worried," he scurries over and falls to the floor in front of me.

I just shrug my shoulders and roll over again. A hand touches my shoulder lightly. I shrug it off and shake my head no like he had done earlier, "Look familiar? Hurts, doesn't it?" I say coldly. I wasn't going to play this game. He didn't fucking care, so I wouldn't let him pretend he did. I stand and stumble toward the door, Neville right behind.

"Come on. Don't do this." He pleads with me.

I spin around to stare at him, "Oh, so, you really care but not around people? Not even 30 minutes ago, you shrugged me off and refused to look at me." I slap him across the face, "Go find your girlfriend." He stares at me in shock and I take this opportunity to push him out the door, slamming it shut. I fall down on the ground crying.

Why did I do that though? Fuck me. I fling the door open to see Neville is crumpled on the floor like I was inside the room. I flop to the ground and scoop him into a hug. He pulls me to his chest.

"Neville, I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I've had a really hard time lately and everything is spiraling out of control." Neville just pats my back and stands, pulling me up. We slide back into the room and onto the couch. I cry silently and cling to him. "I never fucked Seamus. It was just a trick on everyone. And I didn't try to kill myself. I was just being stupid because I was upset."

He pets my hair, "Why were you upset?" Pulling me back to look at my face.

I shake my head, looking at my hands, "It doesn't matter now. It was stupid." His eyebrows slant down but he just nods. I stick out my hand, "Friends?" Though it breaks my heart to do this, I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing.

He frowns slightly but then it turns into a small smile, "Friends." However, instead of shaking my hand, he pulls me into another hug. I wanted to stay there forever, but it ended too quickly. When we pulled apart, we stood and headed to the door. Well, the year might be a tiny bit easier now.


End file.
